Free Web Counter GOULD'S HOUSE: March 2007

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 

American Idolatry

oooh 60's night. ooh 2 losers. People are going to know about 3 of these songs. Hayley is going first singing a song no has heard of. American Idol is the biggest show on TV and they can't get anyone better than herman the hermit. Randy: perfect song for her. Simon: goes all creepy for the first contestant, nice. By the way she has Olympic gold medals for ear rings. My grade B- Jenn's grade C.
Chris is next. cool a guitar player. Hey I think he's wearing my grandads cardigan! not that bad, still too airy and soft for my tastes. Randy: beautiful dawg, props props props. Simon: best performance from him so far. I give him a B.
Stephanie: she has fishing lures for earings, I think she is in danger, she could be gone soon. Randy: Pitchy for me man, man. Paula: pointless comments about the way she looks. Simon: lost her edge. My grade: C-
Blake is next and is singing a Rob Zombie song....wait just The Zombies, never heard of them. This show is like having the station stuck on KFMJ, what a total nightmare. Hey contestants let me introduce you to someone you may have heard of....The Beatles or maybe the Rolling Stones.
Hey I like this, Jenn gives his plaid pants an A+. Randy:cool, massive YO factor (The Yo Factor must be destroyed now). Simon: strongest performance so far. I thought it was very cool, I give it a B+.
Lakisha: yes a bond song, I liked it, probably my favorite from the night.Randy: not his favorite, paula liked it and Simon didn't. I thought Lakisha looked very good, she's still safe. My grade B
Smeagol is next, a hard rock version of Tobacco road. I have a feeling Simon will not like this, let's see. Randy: pitchy dawg for me. Paula: yessssss the precioussssss. Simon: didn't like it, he needs a blusier voice to pull that one off. My grade C.
Jordan goes and does well, I think she is a dark horse to win, in fact I am going out on a limb and predicting Jordan will win the whole thing.
Sunjaya is next. wait... why is he meeting with herman the hermit, Sunjaya is a guy?! This is not that bad, he has some grit in his voice. Jenn is weeping like that little girl! Simon: I guess he didn't like it. Sunjaya is staying i guarantee it. my grade B. Gina is singing next, I predict she will sing "Satisfaction" we'll see. Doh! wrong song, paint it black? don't know it. Oh yeah I know it, I heard it 25 times on kfmj at work. Her whole rock thing is getting old for me, it's time to change it up a bit. Simon: vocal carnage! Paula and Randy always interupt Simon when he is speaking, I think Paula should have sydneys shock collar on.
Chris Sligh is next, he is walking through the crowd...sorry pal but no girls are crying over you.
Melinda is next, I'll just go ahead and give her an A and call it a night. Time for Peter Noone to go back to anonymity and Lulu to go back to the botox clinic.

Friday, March 16, 2007 

March Madness

The last two posts have been pretty popular so now it's time for a post that no will care about. I filled my NCAA tournament bracket on and am currently in 45oooth place, which isn't that bad considering 3 million brackets were filled out. Yesterday through the first 7 games I was perfect and then Duke and Gonzaga lost so right now I have missed 2 picks out of about 20 games.
Here's my final four-I have Ohio State beating Texas and Florida beating UCLA with Ohio State winning the whole thing. Also I entered a drawing at KPU to win a 50 inch plasma, I have a good feeling about this.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 

American Idol

I am sitting here surfing the net and American Idol just came on, so I'm taking a page out of ESPN's sports guy's book and doing a running diary:
They are singing Diana Ross songs.
Brandon didn't start the show off that well, half way through the song his voice breaks like a 12 year old boy's and then he forgets the words. I can't remember what Randy said, Paula said "blahblahblahblah" and Simon eviscerated him. I give him F+
Melinda is next, she's my pick to win the whole thing even though she has a giant head, let's see.....not liking the song, always a mistake to sing a song no one knows, she was still good
Randy: that was hot baby, yeeah yeah! Paula: (through tears) blah blah blah. Simon: rubbish song, good performance. She gets B+
Chris Sligh: He lost the glasses, bad idea. Jenn: "his belly looks like mine". Started shaky, getting better. Randy: A mess Dawg, yeah yeah. Simon killed him. My grade, C
Gina, the rock chick, is next, for the record she has no chance of was ok. Randy: "pitchy, dawg I don't know man, dawg dawg". Simon: "just average, not great, not terrible"
My grade C+
Sunjaya is next, just so you know, last week when Sundance got voted off instead of Sunjaya it was all I could do to not put my head through the TV. Here we go......The most shocking hair I have ever seen on a "man". If he put a dress on he would be the prettiest girl in the competition. Randy: speechless, "dude it wasn't good dude dude dude dude" Simon: "Diana Ross just keeled over dead". My Grade F-
Hayley: maybe the cheesiest person on the show......and boring, she put me to sleep and when I woke up my ears were bleeding, not a good sign. Randy:"Pitchy Pitchy yeah yeah yeah" Paula: "forgetting the words is not a good thing" Simon: he kinda liked it, which is a shock because he couldn't remember her name last week. My grade, C
"Blades of Glory" looks like a funny movie.
Phil is next, or as I call him, Golum. He has a big voice, better when he sings high stuff. not a bad job so far by smeagol. Randy: "vocals were hot!" Paula: "adflkajsdpfoaiwenv" Simon: "not terrible". I give him a solid B.
Lakisha: We here at gouldshouse predict Lakisha will come 3rd in the competition. Diana Ross looks pretty good. Probably the best of the night so far. Randy: "Sensational!" wow Randy must have looked at a thesaurus this week. Simon: "outstanding". The best of the night, she gets an A-
Blake the beat box guy: He won't win but I kinda like his style, he always does something different. I am running out of steam at this point, time to get more cookies and a life. Blake gets a C
Stephanie is next, she is a good singer and probably should stay for a long time but I am going to predict that she will be gone in 2 weeks. It doesn't help that she is wearing a patchwork quilt. C+
Chris is singing, he has a good pop voice I guess, it's kinda high and wimpy though, wait a second, he is bombing big time he's gonna get killed by Simon.......Simon: "dreadful and terrible" I called it. Grade F
Jordin Sparks: For the record, my favourite contestant, followed closely by melinda. Jordin is gouldshouse pick to come 2nd. The Judges are going to tell her that she yelled the song. Randy: "You're in it to win it, yeah yeah yeah dawg dawg" Simon: "very very good, in with a shot to win" I give her B+.
That's the end of the show, my head hurts.

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